Confession Time

Little did I know that when I chose the word "consistency" to be my word for 2014 it would mean that I would be consistently shown areas in my life that I needed to change!! I should have picked an easier word like, "sleep" or "serenity".

Last week my dear husband had back surgery, which went very well, but requires a quite lengthy recovery period, 30 days to be exact. This is 30 days of him not being able to pick up anyting over 5 lbs, 30 days of him not being able to do anything but basically walking. I have been dreading this time. I have been complaining about this time, I have beein acting like a 2 year old in my brain about this time.

Until yesterday. Yesterday was a bad day, he was grumpy and in pain, the kids were wild and feeling the effects of two stressed out parents and I in a less than stellar mood. I started counting the hours till bedtime at about 8am. NOT GOOD. Last night after the kids were in bed I realized that in a way I enjoy playing the martyr.

In an odd way I like having something to complain about. I like taking all the burden on myself and showing how much I can do. On top of the regular things sometimes I add added burdens, things that I don't have to add, but that I think "look" good to others. I hope I am not the only mother out there who struggles with this. As moms we have alot to do, whether we are stay at home moms, or work outside the home, whether we have one child, or mulitiple little ones there is always something else to do. And we never get all the help we would like, even if we married our Prince Charming, he never steps in and helps as much as we would like. It comes down to the attitude we have as we go through our never ending "to do" list, and I have to admit that lately mine has not been steller.

I forget that I am not doing what I do each day for the approval of my friends on Facebook, no one on Pinterest is keeping track of how many crafts I do with my kids, or how many imaginative lunches I pack them. Better Homes and Gardens isn't lurking outside my house waiting for a chance to photograph my artfully arranged knick knacks. I do what I do each day for my kids, for my husband, for my Heavenly Father who blessed me with my family. Keeping my priorites straight in that way keeps the martyr complex away.

I love the first verse from Steven Curtis Chapman's song "Do Everything"




Your picking up toys on the living room floor for the fifteenth time today
Matching up socks
Sweeping up lost cheerios that got away

You put a baby on your hip
Color on your lips and head out the door

While I may not know you,
I bet I know you
Wonder sometimes, does it matter at all?

Well let me remind you, it all matters just as long

As you do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you,
Cause he made you,
To do
Every little thing that you do
To bring a smile to His face
Tell the story of grace
With every move that you make
And every little thing you do